Premier League Head2Head Match 5

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Liverpool v Man Utd, 14 OctoberSince Jose Mourinho took charge at Old Trafford these two clubs have won the exact same number of points (88)

Welcome back from the pesky international break. In a quick recap, last time out Dirk was heartbroken by Sergio’s car accident and didn’t participate while Tyron took full advantage and completely destroyed me in the 10 match game of round 4 (ours not the league’s).

This week I’ve selected a few video clips of Anthony Martial giving some opposing players the ‘nuttee’. Judging by Andros Townsend just walking away it’s humiliating to be on the receiving end but it is oh so glorious for us to watch. And just for shits and giggles I’ve added the TV income and EPL prize money for last season’s Premier League so you can see Sunderland, earned a whopping 1.8 billion Rand while being completely shit. Never ever complain about the money your club spends on players again. Nobody cares when the amounts flowing into their coffers are this big.

RESULT: Liverpool 0 -0 Manchester United

Dirk – Man City Fan

Liverpool 2 – 1 Manchester United

I know United have all the form but it’s away at Liverpool. It’s one of those games which are different to form, and premitions. It feels like a Liverpool win here for me.

Tyron – Arsenal fan

Liverpool 1 – 1 Manchester United

I actually think United will win this, but we also know that Liverpool are incredibly dangerous in the big games, before they throw it away against a small team. Ill hedge my bets

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correct result

Marcel- Man Utd fan

Liverpool 0 – 1 Manchester United

I almost went for a draw but I expect Jose to set up in such a way that we counter with pace and take the points on the break.

RESULT: Burnley 1 – 1 West Ham

Burnley 1 – 2 West Ham

Something at West Ham makes it feel like they’ve made the turn into some decent form again. Burnley seemingly are an away side, and think they’ll struggle at home here.

Burnley 0 – 0 West Ham

Burnley have been fantastic, but West Ham are showing signs of life at last. Gutsy draw?

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correct result

Burnley 1 – 1 West Ham

I’m not sure West Ham are good enough to win and I’m not sure Burnley are poor enough to lose to them, so a draw is the comfortable middle.

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correct score

RESULT: Crystal Palace 2 – 1 Chelsea

Crystal Palace 0 – 2 Chelsea

It’s going to be a long season Palace fans… Chelsea will win this one with ease. I don’t even know where Palace are going with Hodgson but they need direction quickly!

Crystal Palace 0 – 3 Chelsea

Crystal Palace are worse at football than Trump is at Twitter.

Crystal Palace 0 – 2 Chelsea

Hazard is back as Morata gets injured, surely enough to see off a miserable Palace side missing all their better players.

RESULT: Man City 7 – 2 Stoke City

Man City 3 – 0 Stoke City

City are on a roll, and against an underperforming Stoke at home – it should be a very comfortable win!

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correct result

Man City 3 – 0 Stoke City

Stoke dont travel well. City are good, flippen good!

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correct result

Man City 2 – 0 Stoke City

This match will be forgotten faster than that day Peter Crouch banged in a beaut of a volley against City. One way traffic like most of their games this season.

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correct result

RESULT: Swansea 2 – 0 Huddersfield

Swansea 1 – 0 Huddersfield

I think Swansea should sneak through a win at home here. Huddersfield have dropped off after an excellent start and Swansea should have enough to get a win here.

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correct result

Swansea 1 – 0 Huddersfield

This is my crazy game. go big or go home. I suspect both teams will end up going home rather than big!

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correct result

Swansea 1 – 1 Huddersfield

They are both shit. Next game please.

RESULT: Tottenham 1 – 0 Bournemouth

Tottenham 2 – 0 Bournemouth

Even at Wembley Spurs will win this one! The Cherries haven’t had a good start to this season and against Kane in full swing, Spurs 3 points for me all day.

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correct result

Tottenham 2 – 0 Bournemouth

I hate Spurs. But they will win

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correct result

Tottenham 3 – 0 Bournemouth

“Harry Kane he’s one of our own” x 3 is as good a chant as the Spurs fan can muster. They’ll be singing it over and over and over and over and over

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correct result

RESULT Watford 2 – 1 Arsenal

Watford 2 – 1 Arsenal

The injuries in the Arsenal squad point to a disappointing away loss for me here. Watford look a lot better under Silva, and a lot a more consistent. Good home win for me.

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correct score

Watford 1 – 2 Arsenal

Arsenal dont lose at Vicarage Road and I expect the same will continue. Sanchez and Ramsey miss out on the World Cup so it could go either way there.

Watford 0 – 1 Arsenal

Sanchez misses out on the World Cup in 2018 will that influence his game? Arsenal to edge it in a tough contest.

RESULT Brighton 1 – 1 Everton

Brighton 1 – 2 Everton

Everton have to start winning? Koeman under pressure, Brighton struggling to score. Think Everton will find 3 points here!

Brighton 0 – 1 Everton

Surely Everton cant get any worse. Or maybe they can

Brighton 1 – 0 Everton

My upset pick for the week .. but I can’t tell you how happy I am that we finally got rid of Rooney.

RESULT Southampton 2 – 2 Newcastle

Southampton 1 – 1 Newcastle

Tempted to go for Newcastle but think it’ll be a frustrating draw here for both sides.

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correct result

Southampton 0 – 0 Newcastle

Newcastle are consistently incosistent. Lets see how it goes

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correct result

Southampton 0 – 1 Newcastle

I was quite impressed with the work ethic Newcastle showed against Liverpool. Southampton have squad issues. Also, they shit.

RESULT: Leicester 1 – 1 West Brom

Leicester 2 – 1 West Brom

West Brom started brightly but the Foxes have looked better and better. At home I think they’ll have enough against a well organised Pulis side.

Leicester 0 – 0 West Brom

I honestly flipped a coin and it landed on its side, draw it is then

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correct result

Leicester 0 – 0 West Brom

I wonder who we playing next.

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correct result

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Dirk’s Score

6

Tyron’s Score

7

Marcel’s Score

5

This season we score things a little differently, we’ll award 3 points to the outright winner or 1 each for draws. The loser gets none!

Name Rounds Wins Draws Losses Points
Tyron 5 3 1 1 10
Marcel 5 1 1 3 4
Dirk 5 0 1 4 1

Standings at the end of Head2Head Round 5

Premier League payment to clubs 2016-17
Club (UK live TV appearances in brackets) Prize money (£) Total payment (£)
Chelsea (28) 38,832,180 150,811,183
Spurs (25) 36,890,571 145,461,325
Man City (28) 34,948,962 146,927,965
Liverpool (29) 33,007,353 146,112,439
Arsenal (25) 31,065,744 139,636,498
Man Utd (28) 29,124,135 141,103,138
Everton (18) 27,182,526 127,800,699
Southampton (15) 25,240,917 122,450,841
Bournemouth (13) 23,299,308 118,237,066
West Brom (11) 21,357,699 114,023,291
West Ham (15) 19,416,090 116,626,014
Leicester (16) 17,474,481 115,820,488
Stoke (10) 15,532,872 107,062,381
Crystal Palace (14) 13,591,263 109,665,104
Swansea (10) 11,649,654 103,197,163
Burnley (10) 9,708,045 101,237,554
Watford (13) 7,766,436 102,704,194
Hull (10) 5,824,827 97,354,336
Boro (13) 3,883,218 98,820,976
Sunderland (10) 1,941,609 93,471,118
Total 407,737,890 2,398,515,773



Image: PremierLeague.com

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